Monday, January 19, 2009

Crunchy Or Smooth?

PEANUT BUTTER?!?!?!

OMG AND WTF? Have the terrorist finally won people?

Losing weight should be a non-issue from now on seeing as the FDA is systematically pulling two thirds of my caloric intake off the shelves. Oh sure, they say they are not focused on the jars yet, but these are the same people who brought us "duck & cover" and told us to duct tape our windows shut at the first whiff of anthrax. I'm guessing the stuff in the jars is more toxic than the sticky crap stuck on the microwave in the reactor control room at Cherynobyl. Salmonella. PFFFFFFFT!!! Whatever. Isn't that a bacteria? Isn't that what penicillin is for? Don't we radiate, sterilize, fumigate, and pasteurize all that crap anyway? If we can't even protect peanut butter I think it's time to head down to that shelter your not so crazy after all Grandfather built back in the late 50's, slide all 5 deadbolts home, and set the timer for January 20th, 2058 or so.

4 comments:

Jafael said...

It's just for foods with peanut butter IN them, not your actual jar of peanut butter. The company contaminated doesn't sell peanut butter directly to the public. But you better throw out those cheese and peanut butter crackers! (And why does anyone think that food made in factories is actually healthy?)

Oh, and if you are gonna make a girl Google the news on peanut butter, at least have your facts straight! I mean. It took me a whole three minutes to find out what the hell you were talking about! My time is precious over here. Come to think of it, you should provide a link next time!

durtdemon said...

I eat Salmonella for a snack!! Peanut butter is just a bonus!!!

Joel said...

I kind of forgot about this stale blog.... what's going on?

beautiful banter said...

you could always try my favorite eat-out-of-the-jar high calorie: almond butter. the terrorists have not gotten to that yet...
and shelters, huh? i think you have a point there. maybe that's why my neighbors are fixing up their little secret back house...