Weight: 227.6
Delta M: -3.2
Mileage: 31.4 (Road Bike)
June Mileage: 107.5
I headed out this afternoon with the intent to get warmed up, do some intervals and try to knock out at least 30 miles, and I actually did it. Say it with me. JACKASS! I’ve been home for over an hour and my legs still burn, and I’m still suppressing the vomit. Joel had suggested I try something called pyramid intervals, something that involved graduated intervals of efforts then rest, peaking at some point, then working it backwards. It sounded pretty complicated, I always loose track doing regular simple power intervals. I’m pretty good at memorizing useless trivia, but I can’t count for shit. Laugh all you want, I’m not kidding. I took college algebra 4 or 5 times, I think. I don’t count the last one though, the teacher was really hot*, and she was from Cypress, and had this wicked hot accent. I can not be held responsible for not learning a damn thing under those conditions. Plus it was in the afternoon, prime hiking time for me and Kep.
As I’m coming up 23 from Waterman, about mile 22 of my ride, Aaron blows past me, scaring me so bad I almost lost control of my vomit suppression system, which was already operating at about 103% capacity. He offered a wheel, but there was no way in hell I could even try to catch him, let alone keep up with him once I caught him. I could barely hang on his wheel back when I was in shape, on fresh legs.
Aaron is somewhat of an enigma. I’d show you a picture, but the skinny bastard is always moving way too fast to catch on film. Not only does he spell his name really cool, but to quote Joel “Aaron always rides hard, always.” He is in a perpetual good mood. I saw him mad once, but I’m pretty sure he was faking it. He is always busy too, working weird hours, and the only thing I’ve heard him complain about was finding time to ride. But then every time I see him out, he is like 35 miles from home, and heading back, and you guessed, riding hard.
He’d occasionally come out with me and Joel, and that was always a treat. I’d be back trying to draft one of them, and they are doing one legged races in the granny gear. It was like riding with a pair of 5 year olds who just took off their training wheels. Especially Joel, you want to talk asses and elbows, watch a 6’3" man sprinting downhill for all he’s worth, with one leg unclipped, the other pedaling in his lowest gear.
One of my fitness goals is to be able to ride with Aaron next season. I didn’t get to know him quite as well as I did Joel, but I’m sure he’ll be fun to ride with once I can keep up. It won’t be easy, it will take some major off season conditioning and training, and about $2000.00 - $3000.00 to pay Vinny to pull a Tanya Harding on his ass and bust one of his kneecaps somewhere around October.
*But no where near as hot as Chas. If Chas could pick up a Cypress accent, I'd be totally set!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Conversational Skills
Weight: 230.8
Delta M: +4.8 ( You have no idea how hard it was to post that!)
Mileage: 24.1 (42x16 Single Speed)
June Mileage: 76.1
I just can't explain the weight gain. I mean I switched to vodka and cranberry juice. Vodka is derived from potatoes or some grain of some sort I'm sure, and cranberry juice is so good for you you damn near need a prescription to get it . I've read studies where it's been proven it's going to reverse global warming, resolve all those conflicts in Africa, and bring the cost of oil down to $38.00 a barrel, next Monday. I wonder if the chicken Alfredo had something to do with it? Or perhaps the mostacolli, maybe even the biscuits and gravy? Possibly even last nights gyro and chocolate shake? So many variables, it's a mystery to modern science I tell you. They'll come up with that universal Unification thingy before they solve this riddle. I should travel with a self packed feed bag, and never allow myself to eat anything I don't pull out of the feed bag.
Aside from getting back on track with the diet, I've made some minor changes. I'm replacing some of the fruit I usually gorge on for breakfast with some oatmeal and cottage cheese. Sounds delicious I know, but everybody could use a little more cholesterol absorbing fiber in their diet, and the cottage cheese is a good source of lean protein. My coworkers were complaining about me grilling those chickens at my cubicle. The whole smoke alarm sprinkler system thing proved to be a tad too disruptive. Whatever.
I had a nice ride this afternoon. This morning I had every intention of doing some intervals after work, but my legs were still a little stiff from Fridays ride, so based on some advice I opted to change my ride to an easy, long spin. I broke out my cross bike, currently set up with a 42x16 ratio on the freewheel side of the hub. But then as I passed the bike shop I ran into a friend who was waiting on a group ride that nobody else showed up for. She had already run 10 miles that morning, and she was on her new Orbea, so I figured we'd probably pace each other well. We rolled out for Waterman, and we were both a little shocked on how fast RT 30 came up on us. Normally that ride is a torture test to ride by yourself, especially if you are just out for an easy spin. It's not hilly or anything, just boring, and monotonous. Around here if the wind is out of the south, here, you ride to Waterman. Unfortunately in the summer, the wind is always out of the south. It was nice having somebody to talk to. The ride back wasn't as easy as the ride there. You can't take advantage of a tailwind on a single speed like you can on a geared bike. It definitely helps a little, but before too long you end up spinning out. Towards the end maintaining about 15 mph and a conversation became somewhat of an effort, but it was too nice to have somebody to talk to to let up.
Delta M: +4.8 ( You have no idea how hard it was to post that!)
Mileage: 24.1 (42x16 Single Speed)
June Mileage: 76.1
I just can't explain the weight gain. I mean I switched to vodka and cranberry juice. Vodka is derived from potatoes or some grain of some sort I'm sure, and cranberry juice is so good for you you damn near need a prescription to get it . I've read studies where it's been proven it's going to reverse global warming, resolve all those conflicts in Africa, and bring the cost of oil down to $38.00 a barrel, next Monday. I wonder if the chicken Alfredo had something to do with it? Or perhaps the mostacolli, maybe even the biscuits and gravy? Possibly even last nights gyro and chocolate shake? So many variables, it's a mystery to modern science I tell you. They'll come up with that universal Unification thingy before they solve this riddle. I should travel with a self packed feed bag, and never allow myself to eat anything I don't pull out of the feed bag.
Aside from getting back on track with the diet, I've made some minor changes. I'm replacing some of the fruit I usually gorge on for breakfast with some oatmeal and cottage cheese. Sounds delicious I know, but everybody could use a little more cholesterol absorbing fiber in their diet, and the cottage cheese is a good source of lean protein. My coworkers were complaining about me grilling those chickens at my cubicle. The whole smoke alarm sprinkler system thing proved to be a tad too disruptive. Whatever.
I had a nice ride this afternoon. This morning I had every intention of doing some intervals after work, but my legs were still a little stiff from Fridays ride, so based on some advice I opted to change my ride to an easy, long spin. I broke out my cross bike, currently set up with a 42x16 ratio on the freewheel side of the hub. But then as I passed the bike shop I ran into a friend who was waiting on a group ride that nobody else showed up for. She had already run 10 miles that morning, and she was on her new Orbea, so I figured we'd probably pace each other well. We rolled out for Waterman, and we were both a little shocked on how fast RT 30 came up on us. Normally that ride is a torture test to ride by yourself, especially if you are just out for an easy spin. It's not hilly or anything, just boring, and monotonous. Around here if the wind is out of the south, here, you ride to Waterman. Unfortunately in the summer, the wind is always out of the south. It was nice having somebody to talk to. The ride back wasn't as easy as the ride there. You can't take advantage of a tailwind on a single speed like you can on a geared bike. It definitely helps a little, but before too long you end up spinning out. Towards the end maintaining about 15 mph and a conversation became somewhat of an effort, but it was too nice to have somebody to talk to to let up.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
We laughed, we cried, we fell of our bikes like jackasses
Well, we survived our sojourn to north central Indiana. Let me just say, I would have enjoyed my lap dance a lot more if it wasn’t Chas’s uncle who was doing the dancing. At least he didn’t try to slip me the tongue. Oh well, his youngest daughter had just gotten married, at least he had an excuse, me I just drank myself stupid for no apparent reason. As predicted I got to ride, I ate too much, and I drank (way) to much. I'm pretty sure my liver gained a pound or two.
The adventure started early. We hit some pretty heavy rain around La Port. Chas was driving, because I’m lazy and I hate driving, especially that stretch between Chicago and South Bend. I think it has been under construction for like 15 years now. So anyway, the rain got bad, and then the wind picked up, and Chas switched over the CD we had been listening to and tuned in a local radio station, just in time to hear the tornado warning being broadcast, describing a tornado moving through the very are we were driving through. I turned the page of my magazine. Chas white knuckled the steering wheel, and then aged about 7 years. We eventually punched through the storm with out seeing any cool flying cows or anything. We spent the rest of the drive skirting the edge of a pretty hefty storm system. Once we got into town we stopped at the local Walmart to pick up a few last minute things, then headed over to her uncles pad in Lagrange. About 20 minutes after we left Walmart they had a “Code Black.” A funnel cloud was spotted and they had to lock everybody in the store till things cleared up a little.
So we get the car unloaded and I can’t see any lightening and can barely hear any thunder, so I hop on my bike and head south into a 30 mph headwind. The first thing I notice, Lagrange has hills! I mean I’m sure they’re nothing compared to the mountains some of you all get to play on, but where I normally ride, the biggest hill is the Peace Road overpass that lifts you over the local train tracks. I wasn’t 2 miles form basecamp, and I was in my granny gear! It was kind of brutal at first, heading uphill, in a pretty strong head wind, but after I got warmed up and got the new shifting pattern down I started enjoying the ride a little more and soaking up the local scenery. There were all kinds of old mills and farm buildings and ancient looking brick school houses and stuff. Oh, and Amish farms. I came across a couple of Amish buggies waiting for me at intersections. I always heard that the Amish could be a little standoffish to us “English” but I got more waves and smiles from them than I did from the numerous mulleted pick’em’up truck locals I came across. About 13 miles out I hit some hodunk town called Rome City. They had built a huge reservoir in the 1800’s and I rode up to the damn and stopped to catch my breath and take a look around. From the top of the hill I could see the storm front to the south, even uglier than the one we drove through on our way out here, and decided I best turn around.
With the storm booming behind me, and giving a pretty good push, and a predominantly down hill ride back to LaGrange, I had a blast. I raced a couple of Amish buggies. The hills don’t slow them down as much as you might think. About halfway back the storm caught me, and things got a little squirrelly. It got so dark I was worried about being seen buy car traffic, and the closer the storm got, the stronger the winds got, and its direction began to shift unpredictably. One gust caught me off guard, from the side, and literally shoved me off the road. I was lucky it wasn’t from the other direction or I would have been blown to the center of the road.
As I got into town the storm let up a little, and the wind started blowing steady from the south again. I timed it right and hit every light going through town, heading north downhill. Shooting north out of town, the sun came out, but the rain held up, I was rounding a curve, passing cars at 35 mph and shaking the rain from my eyes. It was beautiful.
By the time I got to my turn off the highway, my legs were blown, and I mean BLOWN. It was awesome, I was wobbly and shaky, I could barely turn my cranks. Less than half a mile from where we were staying I had to make a sharp turn. With the wind and shaky legs, I wobbled and didn’t cut it off sharp enough, and my front tire washed out in the sandy soft shoulder and down I went. No permanent damage to bike or flesh, I had to laugh at the irony it, staying up right while 40+ mph crosswind blew me off the road doing close to 30mph, and dumping it going around a corner at less than 15 mph. Despite the jack ass ridden denouement, that was one of the best rides I have been on in a long time.
The adventure started early. We hit some pretty heavy rain around La Port. Chas was driving, because I’m lazy and I hate driving, especially that stretch between Chicago and South Bend. I think it has been under construction for like 15 years now. So anyway, the rain got bad, and then the wind picked up, and Chas switched over the CD we had been listening to and tuned in a local radio station, just in time to hear the tornado warning being broadcast, describing a tornado moving through the very are we were driving through. I turned the page of my magazine. Chas white knuckled the steering wheel, and then aged about 7 years. We eventually punched through the storm with out seeing any cool flying cows or anything. We spent the rest of the drive skirting the edge of a pretty hefty storm system. Once we got into town we stopped at the local Walmart to pick up a few last minute things, then headed over to her uncles pad in Lagrange. About 20 minutes after we left Walmart they had a “Code Black.” A funnel cloud was spotted and they had to lock everybody in the store till things cleared up a little.
So we get the car unloaded and I can’t see any lightening and can barely hear any thunder, so I hop on my bike and head south into a 30 mph headwind. The first thing I notice, Lagrange has hills! I mean I’m sure they’re nothing compared to the mountains some of you all get to play on, but where I normally ride, the biggest hill is the Peace Road overpass that lifts you over the local train tracks. I wasn’t 2 miles form basecamp, and I was in my granny gear! It was kind of brutal at first, heading uphill, in a pretty strong head wind, but after I got warmed up and got the new shifting pattern down I started enjoying the ride a little more and soaking up the local scenery. There were all kinds of old mills and farm buildings and ancient looking brick school houses and stuff. Oh, and Amish farms. I came across a couple of Amish buggies waiting for me at intersections. I always heard that the Amish could be a little standoffish to us “English” but I got more waves and smiles from them than I did from the numerous mulleted pick’em’up truck locals I came across. About 13 miles out I hit some hodunk town called Rome City. They had built a huge reservoir in the 1800’s and I rode up to the damn and stopped to catch my breath and take a look around. From the top of the hill I could see the storm front to the south, even uglier than the one we drove through on our way out here, and decided I best turn around.
With the storm booming behind me, and giving a pretty good push, and a predominantly down hill ride back to LaGrange, I had a blast. I raced a couple of Amish buggies. The hills don’t slow them down as much as you might think. About halfway back the storm caught me, and things got a little squirrelly. It got so dark I was worried about being seen buy car traffic, and the closer the storm got, the stronger the winds got, and its direction began to shift unpredictably. One gust caught me off guard, from the side, and literally shoved me off the road. I was lucky it wasn’t from the other direction or I would have been blown to the center of the road.
As I got into town the storm let up a little, and the wind started blowing steady from the south again. I timed it right and hit every light going through town, heading north downhill. Shooting north out of town, the sun came out, but the rain held up, I was rounding a curve, passing cars at 35 mph and shaking the rain from my eyes. It was beautiful.
By the time I got to my turn off the highway, my legs were blown, and I mean BLOWN. It was awesome, I was wobbly and shaky, I could barely turn my cranks. Less than half a mile from where we were staying I had to make a sharp turn. With the wind and shaky legs, I wobbled and didn’t cut it off sharp enough, and my front tire washed out in the sandy soft shoulder and down I went. No permanent damage to bike or flesh, I had to laugh at the irony it, staying up right while 40+ mph crosswind blew me off the road doing close to 30mph, and dumping it going around a corner at less than 15 mph. Despite the jack ass ridden denouement, that was one of the best rides I have been on in a long time.
I haven't stepped on the scale since we got back, but I'm sure it isn't pretty. I'm looking forward to that Monday morning. I ate like a pig all weekend and drank way too much Saturday night. I plan on dropping some serious poundage the rest of the month though, I've got some changes planned in the diet area, and will buckling down for some serious training. I've had fun dicking around the past few weeks, but it's well past time to get serious.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Gone fishing...
Weight: 226.0
Delta M: 0
Mileage: Big ol’ goose egg
June Mileage: 25.2
No riding tonight like I originally planned, one of Chas’s cousins is getting married, so we are off to Michigan for the festivities. I spent the afternoon getting the oil changed and shopping for wedding presents.
Chas’s family is two or three blogs all by themselves. I would go into more detail and you all would get more than a few laughs, but I know they check this blog out on occasion, to see pictures of us and the kids, and I think at least one or two of them can read.
Actually, Chas’s family is great. They’ve treated me like one of their own since day one, back when we were in high school, and if you can catch Dan, David, & Dennis in the same room, well you can’t put a price on that kind of entertainment. It will be a good weekend, I will eat more than I should, and laugh till I’m sore, and I may even partake of some adult beverages, and set my liver back another month or two.
I picked up some new tires and some chain lube, and the weather looks promising so far, so I should get some good miles in too. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post while we're gone, so this might be it until Monday.
Delta M: 0
Mileage: Big ol’ goose egg
June Mileage: 25.2
No riding tonight like I originally planned, one of Chas’s cousins is getting married, so we are off to Michigan for the festivities. I spent the afternoon getting the oil changed and shopping for wedding presents.
Chas’s family is two or three blogs all by themselves. I would go into more detail and you all would get more than a few laughs, but I know they check this blog out on occasion, to see pictures of us and the kids, and I think at least one or two of them can read.
Actually, Chas’s family is great. They’ve treated me like one of their own since day one, back when we were in high school, and if you can catch Dan, David, & Dennis in the same room, well you can’t put a price on that kind of entertainment. It will be a good weekend, I will eat more than I should, and laugh till I’m sore, and I may even partake of some adult beverages, and set my liver back another month or two.
I picked up some new tires and some chain lube, and the weather looks promising so far, so I should get some good miles in too. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post while we're gone, so this might be it until Monday.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Crosswind
Weight: 226.0
Delta M: -1
Mileage: 14.8 (Road Bike)
June Mileage: 25.2
No huge fitness milestones today, I just got out and rode a bit. I stopped at the shop to see if they could figure out why my bike won’t shift into the outer ring ever since they replaced what we initially thought was a bent chain ring. Turns out my crank arm spider thingy watchimahoozit is bent. They did get it working again, kind of, but I think its temporary and the only way I’ll get it back to full working order will be to replace the watchimahoozit. I’m sure that ain’t cheap. I ended up blowing most of my ride time there at the shop, once finally on the road I realized my time was limited due to the setting sun and the lack of lights on my road bike, so I decided to shorten the mileage and bump up the intensity.
I should have been doing intervals or some crap like that, but I was just happy to be outside, on a bike, and healthy enough to push it a little. The weather was perfect, a slight south wind, just hot enough to be a little muggy, and the setting sun was taking occasional peaks through some light rain clouds just starting to bloom into thunder heads. Sounds goofy, but crap like this is why I love to ride so much. I got out to mile 8 and hit my turn around point. This is my favorite part of every out and back. As I start to hit about 12 mph or so, the ride shifts a little past recreational. The wind picks up in my ears, and I start to get the mild impression of speed. Right about 15 mph, I start to breathe a little heavier. Between 18 mph and 20mph all there is for me is wind loud in my ears and me breathing starting to come real hard. Then I turn around, I slow down and the wind is gone and I hear the birds, tons of birds in the cornfields, and I feel my skin temperature surge, then notice the crosswind as I cross perpendicular to the double yellow line. It's not the drag from effort, just a breeze, but I notice it anyway, that and the distant rumble of thunder to the south. So simple, but good times, the best times actually.
Tomorrow is supposed to be hot, like really hot, and muggy. That’s some good training weather there. Tomorrow’s ride will be painful.
In other news, I am no longer a “kept”man, the Wife’s last day of work was today. She’s staying home to raise our brood full time. We got a system now. I snap my fingers once, she brings me food, I snap them twice, she cleans something, I snap them 3 times and she…well, let’s just say you won’t be reading about any of that over on her mommy blog.
Delta M: -1
Mileage: 14.8 (Road Bike)
June Mileage: 25.2
No huge fitness milestones today, I just got out and rode a bit. I stopped at the shop to see if they could figure out why my bike won’t shift into the outer ring ever since they replaced what we initially thought was a bent chain ring. Turns out my crank arm spider thingy watchimahoozit is bent. They did get it working again, kind of, but I think its temporary and the only way I’ll get it back to full working order will be to replace the watchimahoozit. I’m sure that ain’t cheap. I ended up blowing most of my ride time there at the shop, once finally on the road I realized my time was limited due to the setting sun and the lack of lights on my road bike, so I decided to shorten the mileage and bump up the intensity.
I should have been doing intervals or some crap like that, but I was just happy to be outside, on a bike, and healthy enough to push it a little. The weather was perfect, a slight south wind, just hot enough to be a little muggy, and the setting sun was taking occasional peaks through some light rain clouds just starting to bloom into thunder heads. Sounds goofy, but crap like this is why I love to ride so much. I got out to mile 8 and hit my turn around point. This is my favorite part of every out and back. As I start to hit about 12 mph or so, the ride shifts a little past recreational. The wind picks up in my ears, and I start to get the mild impression of speed. Right about 15 mph, I start to breathe a little heavier. Between 18 mph and 20mph all there is for me is wind loud in my ears and me breathing starting to come real hard. Then I turn around, I slow down and the wind is gone and I hear the birds, tons of birds in the cornfields, and I feel my skin temperature surge, then notice the crosswind as I cross perpendicular to the double yellow line. It's not the drag from effort, just a breeze, but I notice it anyway, that and the distant rumble of thunder to the south. So simple, but good times, the best times actually.
Tomorrow is supposed to be hot, like really hot, and muggy. That’s some good training weather there. Tomorrow’s ride will be painful.
In other news, I am no longer a “kept”man, the Wife’s last day of work was today. She’s staying home to raise our brood full time. We got a system now. I snap my fingers once, she brings me food, I snap them twice, she cleans something, I snap them 3 times and she…well, let’s just say you won’t be reading about any of that over on her mommy blog.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Meet the Crew Part 3
Weight: 227
Delta M: -1.6
Mileage: 0
June Mileage: 10.4
The doctor says I have bronchitis. I asked about riding and he said sure, go ahead, once you can stop sweating while you're sitting still. So tomorrow when I get home from work I’m gonna strip naked, crank up the AC and lay down in front of a fan. I pretty much blew the rideable portion of the afternoon in the waiting room, and we have thunderstorms rolling in now, so there is no ride report to speak of, all you get today is another installment of meet the crew.
This is Joel. Yeah, I know, I didn’t recognize him either. If the picture was of the rear tire of his road bike, I would be able to pick it out from 500 yards, but otherwise I don’t get to see him in his biking clothes too often, well, at least not from that angle. I actually don’t get to see him much any more period, he moved back to Minnesota this past winter. He is about the baddest biker I know. He once left a full body print, snow angel style, in my front yard. He misjudged a snowbank and face planted in about 2 feet of snow, it was like 12 degrees outside. Crazy bastard. He'll be the first to tell you there were some other riders around here that could give him a run for his money, but I'm fairly certain given a level playing field as far as training and seasonal peaks and all that go, Joel could pretty much annihilate most of the locals out here. And plus, look at that picture, you see that tricep? How often do you see that on a biker? He doesn't have to ask his girlfriend to open the mayonnaise jar for him, upper body strength is a rare trait in the peloton. I'm pretty sure his bones aren't hollow either.
I met Joel on a local “slow” shop ride in the spring of 2006. I guess he lost a bet or something and had to take us slow fatties out and make sure we all didn’t get lost or hurt or something. We got to talking and the next thing you know, I’m shopping for a road bike. Up until that point, I had been riding around an old mountain bike my mom had bought me back when I was 15 that I had converted to a fixed gear.
Once I found my road bike Joel conned me into trying to keep up with the “fast” group ride coming out of the shop on Wednesdays. It was a losing battle, I think I finished in sight of the pack once that whole season, but Joel would talk me into going again, and again, and again. I guess I was pretty entertaining to have around. Joel seemed to get a certain satisfaction in telling me how everybody laughed at the way I pulled; accelerating, then blowing up, then getting spit off the back of the pack never to see them again…
Anyway, he also started inviting me on Saturday morning rides, and weekday rides. Sometimes other guys from the shop would join us on Saturday mornings, but on the weekdays it was usually just me and him.
An engineer by trade and training, Joel missed his calling. He should be a personal trainer. He has this weird way of keeping you on track, just when you start thinking you could slack a little, he’d knock you down a few notches. One time he was pulling us home from what I thought was particularly brutal ride and he happened to look at our shadow and caught me coasting in his draft. Not only did he not let me draft the rest of the way home, but he picked on me till I threw a tantrum. OK, well maybe not that much, but he did pick on me. In fact the only reason he let me catch him on the way back was because we passed this big sweaty hairy ape of a troll riding his old banged up 10 speed, shirtless. Joel wanted to makes sure it wasn’t my boyfriend. He’s nice like that.
Basically, he’d push me till I blew up, then make fun of me for being weak until I cried. Then he would slow down and apologize for making me cry, but I could tell he didn’t really mean it. Come to think of it, him and Steve would get along great, they’d laugh themselves silly at my expense I am sure.. He’s really not near as mean as I make out to be, he made up for it by keeping me skinny, and fixing my bike for me, or making sure I didn’t jack it up too bad trying to fix it myself. Tobie just dubbed him “The Instigator” on a whim, I'm sure of it.
Mental note- keep Joel in Minnesota, and Steve in St. Louis, never shall they meet.
Delta M: -1.6
Mileage: 0
June Mileage: 10.4
The doctor says I have bronchitis. I asked about riding and he said sure, go ahead, once you can stop sweating while you're sitting still. So tomorrow when I get home from work I’m gonna strip naked, crank up the AC and lay down in front of a fan. I pretty much blew the rideable portion of the afternoon in the waiting room, and we have thunderstorms rolling in now, so there is no ride report to speak of, all you get today is another installment of meet the crew.
This is Joel. Yeah, I know, I didn’t recognize him either. If the picture was of the rear tire of his road bike, I would be able to pick it out from 500 yards, but otherwise I don’t get to see him in his biking clothes too often, well, at least not from that angle. I actually don’t get to see him much any more period, he moved back to Minnesota this past winter. He is about the baddest biker I know. He once left a full body print, snow angel style, in my front yard. He misjudged a snowbank and face planted in about 2 feet of snow, it was like 12 degrees outside. Crazy bastard. He'll be the first to tell you there were some other riders around here that could give him a run for his money, but I'm fairly certain given a level playing field as far as training and seasonal peaks and all that go, Joel could pretty much annihilate most of the locals out here. And plus, look at that picture, you see that tricep? How often do you see that on a biker? He doesn't have to ask his girlfriend to open the mayonnaise jar for him, upper body strength is a rare trait in the peloton. I'm pretty sure his bones aren't hollow either.
I met Joel on a local “slow” shop ride in the spring of 2006. I guess he lost a bet or something and had to take us slow fatties out and make sure we all didn’t get lost or hurt or something. We got to talking and the next thing you know, I’m shopping for a road bike. Up until that point, I had been riding around an old mountain bike my mom had bought me back when I was 15 that I had converted to a fixed gear.
Once I found my road bike Joel conned me into trying to keep up with the “fast” group ride coming out of the shop on Wednesdays. It was a losing battle, I think I finished in sight of the pack once that whole season, but Joel would talk me into going again, and again, and again. I guess I was pretty entertaining to have around. Joel seemed to get a certain satisfaction in telling me how everybody laughed at the way I pulled; accelerating, then blowing up, then getting spit off the back of the pack never to see them again…
Anyway, he also started inviting me on Saturday morning rides, and weekday rides. Sometimes other guys from the shop would join us on Saturday mornings, but on the weekdays it was usually just me and him.
An engineer by trade and training, Joel missed his calling. He should be a personal trainer. He has this weird way of keeping you on track, just when you start thinking you could slack a little, he’d knock you down a few notches. One time he was pulling us home from what I thought was particularly brutal ride and he happened to look at our shadow and caught me coasting in his draft. Not only did he not let me draft the rest of the way home, but he picked on me till I threw a tantrum. OK, well maybe not that much, but he did pick on me. In fact the only reason he let me catch him on the way back was because we passed this big sweaty hairy ape of a troll riding his old banged up 10 speed, shirtless. Joel wanted to makes sure it wasn’t my boyfriend. He’s nice like that.
Basically, he’d push me till I blew up, then make fun of me for being weak until I cried. Then he would slow down and apologize for making me cry, but I could tell he didn’t really mean it. Come to think of it, him and Steve would get along great, they’d laugh themselves silly at my expense I am sure.. He’s really not near as mean as I make out to be, he made up for it by keeping me skinny, and fixing my bike for me, or making sure I didn’t jack it up too bad trying to fix it myself. Tobie just dubbed him “The Instigator” on a whim, I'm sure of it.
Mental note- keep Joel in Minnesota, and Steve in St. Louis, never shall they meet.
Monday, June 2, 2008
I'm back! Kind of, well sort of, maybe
In the ideal world, every time you throw your leg over the top tube, you should be heading out for a good time. Sometimes though, when you’re sick, and it’s kind of muggy out, and your liver is obese, a ride is only a way to keep you from being as fat as you were the day before. Today was one of those days. I thought I was getting better, but by mid afternoon I was feeling worse and worse. So bad in fact, that I finally caved to the Warden’s wishes and made a doctors appointment. But I figured if I was healthy enough to mow my lawn yesterday, I was healthy enough to ride today. The weather is suppose to be crappy the rest of the week, and I figured this was probably my last chance to get an outdoor ride in before the monsoons started again or the doctor told me I can’t ride until they can find a viable organ donor and swap out my lungs.
It wasn’t a long ride, or a fast ride, but it was a ride and as long as I kept my heart rate under 160 BPM my body didn’t try to eject my lungs from my chest cavity in a violent, mucus saturated fit.
I’ve decided to start posting my weight and mileage kind of like a cross between what Elden and Jill Homer do. Don’t be expecting their kind of numbers though, especially the kind of mileage Jill puts out. I mean sure it would be nice to just hop on a bike and ride all day with out a care in the world but some of us live in the real world, and in the real world we are approaching middle age and gaining weight by the minute. We completely lack the drive, discipline or determination it takes to get to that level, and are actually bitterly jealous of those who can, so we take mad stabs at their accomplishments when they aren’t looking and can’t defend themselves. Bike the Ididarod? Pffffftttt. Whatever! Who has the time, my kid wants to go see Speedracer?!?!?!
For the record I weighed in at 262.2 burritos on April 7th, when I started this weight loss thing again. I'll probably start new posts with this stuff from here on out. So anyway, here it is:
Weight: 228.6
Delta M: 0
Mileage: 10.4 (42x16 Single Speed)
June Mileage: 10.4
It wasn’t a long ride, or a fast ride, but it was a ride and as long as I kept my heart rate under 160 BPM my body didn’t try to eject my lungs from my chest cavity in a violent, mucus saturated fit.
I’ve decided to start posting my weight and mileage kind of like a cross between what Elden and Jill Homer do. Don’t be expecting their kind of numbers though, especially the kind of mileage Jill puts out. I mean sure it would be nice to just hop on a bike and ride all day with out a care in the world but some of us live in the real world, and in the real world we are approaching middle age and gaining weight by the minute. We completely lack the drive, discipline or determination it takes to get to that level, and are actually bitterly jealous of those who can, so we take mad stabs at their accomplishments when they aren’t looking and can’t defend themselves. Bike the Ididarod? Pffffftttt. Whatever! Who has the time, my kid wants to go see Speedracer?!?!?!
For the record I weighed in at 262.2 burritos on April 7th, when I started this weight loss thing again. I'll probably start new posts with this stuff from here on out. So anyway, here it is:
Weight: 228.6
Delta M: 0
Mileage: 10.4 (42x16 Single Speed)
June Mileage: 10.4
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