Monday, July 7, 2008

Garanimals

I didn’t step on the scale this morning, I was in full on Monday Morning Mode after a weekend of culinary debauchery and it kind of slipped my mind. Or at least that is what I’m telling you guys. It has nothing to do with the fact I didn’t want to face the grizzly truth. Nothing at all. I was a good boy today though, stuck tight to the diet, walked during lunch, went for a ride after work blah blah blah. There will be a weigh in and ride stats tomorrow.

I got home a little later than I planned, and loafed a little longer once I got there, and was up against time constraint, so my available ride time was cut a little short. Wanting to cram a lot of workout into a little time I opted to try the Pyramid Intervals Joel keeps pushing on me. I had heard that Power Intervals were the be all end all of pain and suffering, and I had survived a few of those, so while not exactly planning on a pleasant experience, I figured I could handle pyramids. Uhhhhhhhh yeah, they suck too. I spent 30 minutes in a cold shower, and 3 hours later, the simple act of tying my shoes makes me start to sweat profusely again. It turns out you can stick pretty much any word in front of interval, and it will still suck; Pyramid, Power, whatever, it doesn’t matter they are all completely interchangeable with “Holy crap this is going hurt” That is fact, just email your CTS certified coach, they’ll tell you. In fact they suck so much, that when I told Aaron I tried it today he only looked at me quizzically and said “Why?” That is a very profound and pertinent question. What most people don’t know is that intervals is a contraction of sorts. It’s short for Soul Sucking Painful Vomit Inducing Physical Training Concept That Gradually Erodes Your Will To Live In 1 To 15 Minute Intervals.

Actually, intervals aren’t that bad, and it was a fun ride. The real problem I had was the wind. Heading south into a 20 mph headwind isn’t too bad, but single speeds don’t really allow you to take advantage of tail winds, and in this case having a tail wind kind of sucked. The wind seemed to match my speed all the way home, and that meant no wind to cool me off. This, coupled with the fact I forgot sun block made me feel like I was being microwaved. I can think of more pleasing sensations, like chewing on tin foil right after getting a cavity filled.

The whole reason I had to wrap things up early was Aaron offered to help me put my new cranks on tonight. I brought the camera but forgot to check for a memory stick, so no action shots but this is the final result, a few hundred grams of uber-stiff, smooth as silk shifting anodized Ultegra!
They look pretty pimp on my bike too, matches like Garanimals, I swear it! It’s going to be a fun ride tomorrow, what with actually being able to shift into the big ring when I want to and all. I can’t wait. Thanks Aaron, I hope you enjoy those Newcastles.

3 comments:

joel said...

"Actually, intervals aren’t that bad, and it was a fun ride."

That statements says that you are doing intervals completely wrong...try going harder!

Johnny said...

Damnit! I was afraid you would say that. The legs are pretty sore today, more so than I thought they would be, and I got the group ride on Wednsday, so that is gonna have to wait till Thursday. It should be easier to hurt myself now that I got the road bike fully functional. Trying to do intervals on a single speed with a tail wind wasn't as productive as it could have been on the roadie.

Erik said...

Intervals. Maybe I should try those. I've never thought about it actually. In fact, I'm not even riding with a computer right now. I just go out and hit hills then come back dead. Then I sweat tying my shoes, or drinking water, or while sticking my head in the freezer.