Weight: 218.6
(I actually peaked at 221.6 Monday after the century, WTF?)
Delta M: -1
Mileage: 26
July Mileage: 326.9
Aarron texted me as I was driving home from work, asking if I was up for a ride. I hadn’t realized it yet, but I actually had a hankering for a little pain. I figured we’d meet, head out, I would try to hang on for a while and just count it a blessing that the sweat literally squirting out of my pores would camouflage the tears streaming down my cheeks. Then I would blow up and vomit just as the trip meter rounded over about mile 3.5 or 4. You can't beat that kind of action on legs still sore from a century, so I called him right back. I can’t text and drive. I can’t text and anything really. In fact, I can barely text at all. Stupid cell phones. You want comedy? Watch a dyslexic fat dude with a fatty liver who flunked college algebra like 4 or 5 times try to figure out how many times he has to hit the 9 button to capitalize a letter. Whatever, I just call.
But when I get to the shop Aaron was on the fixed gear he had been working on when he put my crank on for me. I got all excited thinking I’d actually be able to hold on for a while, maybe even converse with Aaron on a ride! Ummmmm….yeah, I was wrong. Joel is right, Aaron just does not ride slow. Ever. Period. On an aerodynamic parachute of a steel tank, geared at 42x15, he had me wheezing before we hit the Peace Rd trail. This is just wrong. I did find that if I drafted him for a bit, I could then surge forward and get out a couple of complete sentences before my lips turned blue and my vision grayed out too much, but then I would have to duck back into his wake again. And what a wake it was! It’s a Surly MTB frame, a 1x1 I think, but he has 7oo wheels on it, so he sits pretty high. Then he has these monstrously wide handle bars on it, cars pretty much have to give him the lane. I went to cut back in once on 64, but I had to get in line behind this Peterbuilt hauling John Deere tractors that was sucking his wheel, his wake was that big. It’s actually a sweet looking ride, green frame, wide ass flat bars, white grips, saddle and Deep V rims, it’s a pimp look’n steed, I am a little jealous.
He of course annihilated me on the few hills we got out here, but he would have done that on a geared bike dragging an anchor. Every time I got close to calling out for mercy I caught him and managed to catch my breath drafting him. I think that may have been intentional on his part. For all I know he was in cahoots with Joel, I can hear the phone conversation now… “Don’t slow down till you hear him crying, he’s fat now, so that should be pretty quick and loud, then act like you got a mechanical issue or something and let him catch you again. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.”
Oh well, it was a great ride, exactly what I was looking for. Although it seemed like a tough ride at first, I found myself recovering from my harder efforts much faster than I would have a month ago, so progress is being made. Besides all that, Aaron is pretty cool to ride with, I hope we can get at least a couple more in before the season is up.
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Season up? WTF are you talking about, the season never ends! Just remember snow angels!
Hopefully Aaron doesn't get jumped by a bunch of street thugs over that mexi-mobile.
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